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927 days without a new lesson etched in my flesh.

I know it’s been a while since I spoke of cutting. I can say I’ve had a few temptations and I handle them with prayer and surfing. I’ve received a lot of encouragement and support as well.

I say “Dear father in heaven, darkness calls my hands to sin. It calls me to falter. Please light my way so the darkness may be silent and I may not fall to it this day.” It has worked so far so I’m not messing with it.

I’ve never been cut free this long before.

To be proactive I still visit my psychiatrist and support group. I always tell my wife and my doctor when the desire comes to hurt myself. And of course I pray over it. I know I can’t do this alone and I know it’s strength to admit I need help.

So while I can’t say honestly that I am done forever and it will never trip me up again. I can say I am facing daily life head on and learning to read my emotional state better. I can say pain is no longer is the only thing I feel. I know there is so much more to life than pain.

This is the best Christmas gift I could give my wife. This is my third Christmas cut free. Isn’t it fitting for this present given me by god. To be recognized on the day Christians like my wife celebrates the birth of god?

I think so. I certainly couldn’t have do it alone. I certainly have called on the power of god to fend off the pain and darkness. So I will thank those who were here for me.

God

My wife and family including my wonderful in-laws

My doctors, support groups and pastors

My friends

My fellow bloggers

And everyone who showed me support and kindness during this time in my life

I love you all, each and every one of you.

Michelle