My birthday is coming fast. I can’t remember a single birthday without Sarah there.
Sarah had been my buddy, my best friend since we could crawl. She is and has always been someone who has always been in my life. In the early years I never knew she felt as she did toward me. It wasn’t until after my rape that she began staying with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our families were great friends and from that day forward we stayed at each others house constantly.
After I had my son and shortly after my 15th birthday we were spending a night on her dad’s boat. we always slept in the same bed. It was just how it always was. But this night would change my life forever.
We both went to bed about 10pm as ussual. I was in a good mood as I’d just finished some snippet of code for the mud (Multi User Domain) I “worked” for and I was on a boat with Sarah. I remember that night like it was yesterday.
Sarah and I lay face to face talking in sign language in the dim light of the moon through the port window. I know we giggled a lot and it was a sound both our parents came to expect at night. She could always make me smile, make me laugh. I could count on her to life my spirits when I was down.
This night as we talked she said she had never kissed a boy and asked if I had. I hadn’t either. As we talked she asked how do we know if we are good kissers if we’d never kissed a boy? I really didn’t know nor was I prepared for he next question.
Can I try kissing you and you tell me if it was good? To say I was shocked is putting it mildly. I hadn’t thought of that but I agreed to kiss her. We made several attepmts each when she rolled up on top of me and kissed me full on and held nothing back.
I found myself just letting her do that. She then told me she’d been dreaming of doing that for a very long time. She asked if I liked her kiss and I told her she was a good kisser. She smile and kissed me again and again.
She sat up on my stomach and took off her night gown. She was now naked ontop of me. I remember gazing at her body above mine differently than I had before. As I gazed I felt her unbutton my shirt and then she took off my panties. I was frozen, I had no clue what to expect as she touched me.
Every inch of me wished for more, every inch wished for her touch. I had goose bumps on my goosebumps. It never occured to me to question that we were both girls. Everything just felt like it should be. I knew even then, at that moment I was hers in everyway. I wanted nothing but to be hers forever.
I remember every detail of that night, the first night Sarah made love to me and afterward I to her. She was my first real kiss, my first real lover and my best friend.
It was the most tender moment I’d ever experienced. It happened just like that because she wanted it. I was frozen but certainly not in fear. I was frozen with anticipation, the same as I am today. With just a touch she can knock me down or build me up.
With just a look she can make me smile, make me quiver, make me long for her and strike every doubt from this world. With just a look she has the power to crush me or make me soar like an eagle.
She set me free that night and everyday since. My heart beats for her, my body longs for her, my mind is filled with her. Every moment she proves again she is my entire world.
Nearly seventeen years we have been a mated pair, seventeen years she has been my wife in my heart, mind and soul. How my life has changed since my best friend became my lover. And yet every day I still ache for her smile, her touch and her gaze. As long as she is present in my life I have all I ever need.
She makes me wealthy with her love. She is my beginning and my end here and now. Whatever comes my way, she will be there and I am completed by her. The world is certainly brighter because she smiles at me.
Some people tell me what we have is a sin, it’s wrong.
To them I say god brought her to me, god put this love in my life and god himself made me exactly what I am. I have never loved another as I love her and she continues to be the one I wish to be with forever until the end of time itself and beyond.
That love is never wrong. I am exactly where god wants me to be. After all those who call it a sin believe god himself controls everything. We are exactly what he wishes of us and exactly where he wishes us to be. He put her in my life, he keeps her in my life and he blesses her and I daily.
All I know is I am a better person because of her. If it’s wrong then I can live with that. The question is can you so easily live with the wrong in your own life as I can with her?
Kita, Michelle, Taka