My friend Miusho posted today about personal space.
Why is it we must be made to feel guilty and be the “bad guy” when personal space should be an understood norm. It has never been acceptable in history to touch people you don’t know. It’s not socially acceptable to stand to close.
There are even defined norms for personal space.
Personal “intimate space” is defined as one foot or closer. “Intimate space” should only be “invaded” by trusted lovers and family unless otherwise invited to be close. An example would be if someone opens their arms signifying a hug. That is an invitation into someone else’s intimate space. It’s a one time invitation so let’s understand that too.
Friend Zone Space
In personal space friends are often expected within three feet and outside the one foot “intimate space” zone. You should know if you’re considered a friend and their body language will tell you a lot as well. Often if they move away from you then you are too close. If they stand arms crossed they are signalling even if subconsciously that they are not open to closer engagement.
Non-Friends Zone Space
Non-friends zone begins outside the three foot circle. It’s obvious that we can’t avoid invading that space sometimes. Crowds and other situations where many people are present you may not be able to remain that far from someone else.
But in general rules of conversation and interactions these are the three zones that should be culturally respected. Just because you’re all touchy feely doesn’t mean everyone else is. When conversing with another it’s not just about what makes you comfortable. No it’s also about what puts the other person at ease.
I like Miusho detest people in my “Intimate Space” aside from my wife, son, and immediate family. I put my hands up between us, I step back, I close off and have even told people to back that truck up! But why should I need to be the bad person here and ask you to do something that should be plain common sense?
Is it manners that’s missing today? What is it that causes people to have no common sense or respect for anyone but themselves? This is also something I complain about.
I should not be made to look like a bad person for asking you to step back and respect my personal space. It certainly shouldn’t come to physical actions to keep you out of my personal space. Maybe along with sex education and since parents don’t seem to be teaching it, we need to teach personal conduct in school. Call the class respect for others and common social norms you should follow.
Thanks Miusho, I 100% totally agree.
Oh and Miusho, you’re right about EX’s. To any Ex out there, you are an EX for a reason and the “Intimate Zone” is now off limits and for some even the “Friends Zone” maybe off limits.