For my friend Wally who wrote this today.
It’s hard to not be thankful for our lives and all we have. I wrote 80,640 because I had to seriously consider all the reasons I had to be thankful for. I haven’t shared this before but my second suicide attempt brought this to my mind.
I had plunged a knife more than four inches into my chest and as I lay bleeding Sarah woke and found me. She administered some emergency aid and then carried me to the car. At high speed she raced for the hospital and the Emergency Room. Every so often placing her hand on my wrist to be sure i was alive.
After Sarah carried me into the ER bleeding badly and the doctors went into full panic mode as they were rushing me to the OR, I flat lined. My heart stopped just as I was leaving Sarah’s sight. I can’t help but think how awful that was for her. She fought so hard to get me there only to watch me die before her eyes. I can’t imagine that heart break, alone in a waiting room and the last sight was your wife bloodied and dying and watching as her heart stopped beating.
She fought to save me and this must have made her heart sink.
The doctors performed CPR of course and for almost 300 seconds I was clinically dead. No respiration and no heartbeat of my own. It was this experience that made me realize I had 80,640 reasons everyday to be happy and to be thankful.
Not a day has passed that I have not said “Dear god thank you for the 80,640 heartbeats that lead me in the past 24 hours and thank you for the gift of today. I’ll thank you with every heart beat and tomorrow I’ll begin thanking you again.”
That is my morning prayer. Throughout the day I am thankful for my son, my wife, my family, the day, the sun, the rain, the waves, the food I ate, the smell of the ocean air, my great friends, the breaths I take, and everything that makes me smile.
It’s sad probably that I am thankful for a second chance. Some might call me a fool. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am indeed thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for every heartbeat since my heart stopped because I know each beat is a blessing. With each beat I greet the future and add one more beat to my past.
I am thankful for everything I have my doctors, my health, my mind, the love in my life, but most of all I am indeed thankful for every one of the 80,640 heartbeats that brought me here from 24 hours ago and for the one bringing me closer to tomorrow right now.
Have you said thankyou for your life yet? You should. You have 80,640 reasons right now to be thankful for the past 24 hours alone. How many more you will have? No one knows but be thankful for each one, they bring you one step closer to tomorrow.