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After getting my Cochlear Implants (CI), I discovered a new world of sound. While it’s true I’ve been learning new words I can say at a profound rate I’m also discovering I need to learn to listen. This talent is normally developed as a child but for deaf children there is no sound we listen with our eyes.

Today I’m finding I still fall back on listening with my eyes and I still struggle with learning to listen. I know the sound is reaching my brain but I still seem to be filtering it. Even as I approach 3 years since my implants were first turned on and 2 years since I was able to hear my sons voice for the first time. I find myself still hearing with my eyes far more than my ears.

I know it’s strange that I have ears and yet much of what I hear, I don’t actually hear. It’s still often just noise. I am learning at a much slower rate to break down the sounds into actual words as they come as input into my mind. This to is a frustration. I seem to be able to output words but the receptors for input are slower.

The only thing I can compare it too is a computer. When outputting graphics is has a very wide and fast bandwidth to process too. But when accepting input it has a mouse and a keyboard and those are limited by the speed of the external processor. It seems my input bandwidth has limitations for the moment.

I’ll figure out how to upgrade these inputs given time and practice. For now I’ve learned and it’s true.Β There is an art in learning to listen and someday I’ll master it too.

~Michelle