A debate is raging over here: http://aopinionatedman.com/2015/03/09/that-baby-isnt-only-yours/
The poster “An Opinionated Man” yeah that’s his handle and he lives up to it. The poster OM has presented an argument as follows and I happen to agree with the summary I’m about to give.
Abortion is murder but since murder is the law of the land I feel the father should have an equal say in it. In other words if the father wants the child and is willing to raise it then why is the choice to murder the baby 100% the mothers? Didn’t it take two in the first place?
I whole heartedly agree. If a father wants the baby it is half his.
Now for the arguments I know are coming.
** But it’s HER body why should she have to carry the baby?
Let’s clarify I am not talking about rape or incest but consensual sex. In the case of consensual sex did the woman not pick the guy, agree to sex, and have sex? The answers are yes, yes and yes. Anything shy of that is rape. So she made her choice to have sex and it’s pregnancy a possible outcome of sex, even protected sex? Yes.
She made her choice and she knew the possible outcome was pregnancy. The man also made a choice, the same choices. Without his involvement we couldn’t have a pregnancy. So why shouldn’t he have a say. After all the baby is half his genetic material and half hers. Shouldn’t all choices be 50/50 and not just the choice to have sex? I say yes.
I would also point out it’s not just her body, it’s the little life now growing inside her. So we have another little life to consider and not just “her body” don’t we?
But Michelle it’s not a life, it’s a fetus!
There are a number of court cases where a man was sentenced to life in prison for the death of an unborn baby. Scott Peterson sentenced to two life sentences. One life sentence for his wife, the other for the unborn baby she carried.
In this case the MAN choose abortion: http://www.nationalrighttolifenews.org/news/2013/06/florida-man-faces-federal-murder-rap-in-death-of-unborn-child-under-nrlc-backed-law/ and now he is going to jail for murder, but had his girlfriend chosen the same thing it’s just a choice.
Another case, man goes to jail because an unborn fetus is a person: http://www.tldm.org/News12/TexasMurderCaseDefinesUnbornChildAs’Person’.htm and http://www.desertsun.com/story/news/crime_courts/2014/08/20/erin-corwin-christopher-lee/14365341/ both in Texas and California. It is clear the law has a double standard on murder here.
So if it’s murder there why not at an abortion clinic? Ahh the law. Right. But the above examples are the law as well. Murder, not murder but the baby doesn’t get “equal protection” as is the law under the fourteenth amendment.
**Why should she be stuck with a baby for 18 years?
Well that answer is simple. ADOPTION!
** What is she can’t afford it? What if that baby would have a hellish life with that single mother?
Again adoption. Many adoptive parents will even pay all medical bills for the mother. Some even pay housing and other expenses. Too simple..
**But guys are assholes?
Not all guys are assholes but apparently you like assholes or you’d have found a good one by now.
**But it’s my right!
What about the unborn baby? What about his/her rights?
There is not an argument you can make for abortion after consensual sex that I can’t destroy. So bring it on but be respectful and I will be respectful back.
** —– ** —– ** —– ** —– **
Now for my rant to girls
We shouldn’t even be having this debate to be honest. Abortion is the easiest medical procedure to avoid. Here’s a novel idea. Instead of teach abortion is a choice let’s teach our daughters morals, value and self-respect. Let’s teach them how to choose better men.
Fathers, demonstrate by how you treat your wives what a woman deserves to be treated as. This is for your sons and daughters. They learn from you what being a man is all about. Mothers, they learn from you what being a woman is all about. We should be having a discussion about teaching children by examples.
Morals and values.
Here is how I see it. Any man I get involved with I know him, his wants, his desires, his dreams, and his character before the subject of sex is even entertained. I am no saint but I am choosy. If a guy won’t put in the time he isn’t worth it. As a result I’ve never been “played” and never had a drunken one night stand. Why is that you might ask? Because I am more than the sum of my vagina.
I’ve always known exactly what I was doing when I entered into sex. I always also made him wrap it up. If he was a “but that ruins it”, close the legs and let him have fun with his hand because I’m done. After all that is my choice when it comes to MY body. I choose to let him touch it under MY rules.
Girls need to know they are worth waiting for, they are worth the effort. Making a guy open up, talk and share, getting to know him and he you; is worth the effort. If it isn’t then he wasn’t in it for you he was in it for sex. Getting to know a prospective partner builds longer term relationships and filters out many of the assholes.
Girls need to stop listening to feminists today. All men aren’t bad. They need to be more discerning and selective. They need more respect for themselves. They need a dose of personal responsibility as well. We also need to look beyond the body because in time the body fades.
Be straight with the guy. We will date a long while, I don’t “give it up cheap”. If you’re looking for easy move along I ain’t it. By talking we will discover if we are compatible or if our views and dreams are so radically different that we just aren’t meant to be. I’ve avoided mistakes with this method. I’ve also gotten to see the inner beauty in many people who society would call ugly by appearance.
I’ve avoided being played or the guys looking for a score. I guess it comes down to I am looking for the future and not just some cock. Girls need to place their value high enough that they are looking to the future and not the guy they think is a nice guy or the hot guy so I’ll have sex with him on the first date.
I went on a date with a guy once and he thought because he bought dinner I owed him sex. I handed him 20 for my meal and he watch the ass as it walked out the door. I’ve dated guys who are all like but if you want me you’d…CYA. I’ve dated jerks, they never lasted past about date two or three. I’m not afraid to go dutch and will often but a date doesn’t mean sex. It never has and never will.
Teach girls that building the foundation is more important than playing house. When you just play house you’ll discover it’s made of cards. But take the time to build a foundation and you have a house of brick.
Making him wait proves his commitment to a lesser extent. Because when a guy is after the quick score and he has to wait he knows there are 10 girls out there he could have banged waiting for you. He will move on. To which you say “good riddance”.
Using the wait rule has saved me from many jerks. I’ve had four real boyfriends and I am still friends with all but one today. But see my father taught me my worth as a person. My mother taught me what a lady was like. I have value and so do you. It’s about time women learned that and made choices based on that value.
I find you worth knowing as a person, past, present and future and you should find me the same. Find the value in yourself and look for others who desire to find that value. Look for their value and take your time.
So we determined in sex the woman made all the final choices. She needs to be more selective about the guy she chooses. Get off the looks and into the mind. We determined women make the choice to have sex, so take control and make it safe sex. If a guy won’t wrap it..CYA! Ladies take charge and make the choices that avoid abortion all together.
Once you have morals you will understand personal responsibility and choices.
The man you date is a choice
Birth control is a choice
Sex is a choice
And we need to be responsible for the choices we make in this life.
Choose not to abort and when you stand in judgment the life you save may just be your own.