Recently through the blog A Opinionated Man I was introduced to Butch and Hammy. Butch lost his wife of eighteen years recently and is struggling to be strong for his son Hammy right now. Now as you can imagine Hammy lost his mother and at only thirteen years old.
Right now I’d ask you pray for them in the hour of need. I pray for strength to Butch and peace for he and Hammy. I’ve been praying every night since finding them.
Things I’ve learned about dealing with lose. I didn’t lose my wife, my mother, or father. I lost my innocence, my childhood and my faith. It ushered in a season of great pain and darkness. I can only imagine your pain. It’s not the same as the one I struggled with but it is deep, dark and terrible. This we share in common.
Right now the world seems lost. I know how that feels. It seems unfair and dark. The darkness has its season and when it’s done you will find the light. I’ve learned this in my journey. May your season of darkness be short.
Right now you’re dealing with yours sons grief. I would like to commend you for that. I’d also like to tell you that sometimes we help others and we ends up helping ourselves. There is something therapeutic about helping others.
My time at the woman’s crisis center helped me immensely. Your time helping your son I pray will do the same.
I can also tell you as I have already. Everyone moves forward from the darkness and pain at different speeds. The key is to never stop moving forward. My pain caused me to see a hopeless future. This despite the wonderful family, friends and Sarah my wife.
I tried suicide twice. Why do I tell you this? Because I want you to know it’s ok to ask for help. I wish I’d asked harder or even more often. It’s important right now you aren’t alone. It’s important you know you’re not alone.
In closing I’d like you to know I’ve read everything you’ve posted now. This is a wonderful tribute to an incredible lady. I hope it’s also therapeutic for you. I’d encourage you to write about some of the great moments you had together too.
Start trying to put the good times forward and center when you’re able. For now grieve, cry, curse, pray or whatever you have to do to let it out. It’s important to not bottle it up.
If anyone says anything about you crying then they are plain ignorant and should be ignored. Crying is natural and normal when someone is in great pain. Grieve in your own way. You will discover you are stronger than you thought you were. Just don’t think you have to go it alone.
I am here if you ever need or want to talk. With all you’ve said about her she was a really special and caring soul. She wouldn’t want to have you suffer like this. Try to smile some each day and find strength in the good times.
Your fellow blogger and someone who cares
I’d like to encourage all my friends to say a quick prayer for Butch and his son Hammy.