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Some time has passed since my hands attempted to snuff out my life. The attempt left me in a coma for a week and in intensive care and special care for weeks more. It left me in the hands of very capable doctors in the psych ward for months. As of this post I remain there and in their care.

Sarah wrote a nice piece entitled Caesar returns. You can find it here: https://aghostdancer.wordpress.com/2014/11/22/caesar-returns/

I wanted to take a moment to thank my Captains. I believed all had been lost. Caesar quit on Rome, turned her back on the Legions and spit on her captains. Yet it seems they stayed true. In her absence her captains rallied the troops and held fast the line.

They saw me shattered, my will broken. They refused to show or admit defeat. They held the line and allowed none to pass. The world would not see Caesar in such a state. No, her captains held the line and put up a united front. The world would see Rome fight to survive. Those outside the most trusted had no clue Caesar lay bleeding and unable to fight.

They silenced the claims that Rome was lost. They gathered their strength and waited for reinforcements. And yes Caesar clung to life under their protective gaze.  They stood fast as I won the fight to survive.

I must say I still believed all was lost. I was not happy to see my city ablaze, blood in it’s streets and pain evident upon my captains faces. They should have abandoned me to die. But that’s not what they did. They fought to protect the heart of Rome, they fought for Caesar. Even when she was unwilling or unable to fight for herself.

As I opened my eyes, still alive. I saw blood in the streets and no chance of reclaiming Rome. My enemy was upon me and fought for the heart of Rome. They seemed overwhelming even then. I watched still helpless as my captains rallied and pressed on. Day in and day out they fought. They still believed in Rome?

As I became stronger I would join the fight. Though halfhearted and still believing Rome to be lost forever. I fought because they fought. I fought because it’s all I knew how to do. With fight returning to Caesar the captains asked the almighty to fill Caesar with fight and strength. Those prayers were answered when the nightmares stopped.

Her faith returning, the cities center no longer ablaze. It was time to take this fight to the streets. As I fought for sanity to restore Rome my captains showed the same fierce loyalty and determination I had seen before. They knew Rome was not finished, they knew Caesar would stand upon her steps the victor.

In the coming months my city was reclaimed. Rome stands, her walls stand and her captains have retaken the city. Caesar still tired from the war stands once more the cities head. Though she can barely lift her sword she smiles. Caesar sees victory is at hand.

Her captains are amazing, one and all. Because of their faith Caesar now has faith. Because of their fight, Caesar still has fight. Because they wouldn’t quit, Caesar will not quit. I’m amazed they stand beside me still. I’m amazed they never quit on me, on Rome.

Peace is not yet upon me and my strength is returning but I still lean heavy upon my captains for strength. I see now Rome stands and the flames and war within have done little to diminish the beauty of my city. Almost normalness returns within the walls, safe from war and beyond the reach of those who would see Caesar fall.

The legions who came to defend the very idea of Rome now take more and more ground. The captains who would not let Caesar fall in shame now lead the armies beyond Rome’s walls in pursuit of the enemy. The war is not far from the city walls as the enemy yet bangs the gates. Upon a day Rome shall not longer bear the sound of war, or the scars of scorched earth.

Though the fires are out, the enemy is confused and the odds have shifted.We are winning the war, one day, one battle at a time.

The war is not done, though the enemy is routed and in retreat. If not for the direct action and loyalty above and beyond Caesar and Rome would have perished that day.

We are no longer on the defensive. The war is taken to the enemy. Rome stands a shiny testament to the valor and faith of the captains who would not quit. I am humbled by such loyalty and reserve the words I dare not speak yet. But those words are in sight and it shall be glorious when they come to pass.

For now I’ve no words that I may speak of thanks that can begin to express how I feel toward those who stood by Caesar. My captains and the legions who came in defense of the idea and ideals that are my Rome. My words will never be enough and Thank you seems lacking by weight and measure.

~Caesar Michelle

Comment added 5/7/2015 “You are someones captain, will you quit when their Rome burns? Or will you stand and be counted as my many captains did and say to them Caesar you are not alone! When your loved ones struggle for sanity one voice can be the difference between life and death. Where will they find you when Rome trembles in fear and pain? Those for whom I am a Captain will find the same will to fight mine showed me. Perhaps you’ll do the same when called upon.”