The truth in love.
The more intimately you know someone the more clearly you see their flaws.
It’s easy to focus on the flaws, and hard to love the flaws. Unless we remember always we have flaws to that the ones who love us overlook. I know my wife Michelle about as intimately as anyone could.
Does she have flaws? Yup.
Are they deep dark and ugly? Yup.
So are mine. Yet everyday she greets me with a smile and eyes that say you’re perfect to me. I always try and return that look and never fail to return that smile. She after all knows me intimately as well.
Before I thought I knew what love was. When I was young I saw the worst in people. I saw the evil and depravity. But I also saw the simple imperfect, perfection. Face it without flaws we’d all be pretty damn boring!
If you think you love someone here is the questions to answer.
Have you seen them when money times are tough? When they have no money? When they are under incredible pressure? Have you seen them when they are starving and penniless?
Guess what? None of that matters! Here is what love really is warts and all.
Love is honesty. Honesty in knowing we don’t need to hide who we are or worry about our flaws. It’s important to know you can be imperfect and still be loved deeply. If your love is built on honesty to yourself and your mate then that is a love that will last.
Love is acceptance. Acceptance of the others flaws and of your own. Acceptance that despite those flaws you are loved by them and you return that love in a completed circle.
Love is service. In choosing to love we choose to serve. We serve the needs of the other, often placing them above your own needs and hoping they do the same.
Love is choice. In choosing to love we accept responsibility for our half of that love. We make the choice to see to it love remains the primary focus.
Love is patient. Love never quits, it doesn’t know surrender. Love is the Marines of emotions. It does the impossible, the improbable and it does it so well. No retreat, no surrender and patience’s wins no matter the duration or the odds. Steadfast and consistent.
Love is kind. Love is kind by remembering to be kind with our words. Kindness kills, but it kills in the nicest ways. In the act of kindness love if feed.
Love is deliberate. Love is deliberate in its action and deeds. We have to demonstrate by those deliberate actions our love. Sometimes it’s a hug, others its moving half way across the world to be with them. But it is decisive, deliberate choices that show and demonstrate our love. Our commitment to love.
Love is hard. Love is work, hard work. It’s something you pour yourself into daily, hourly and sometimes minutely. It’s arguments and compromise.
Love is pain. Love is seeing the depth of darkness in another and choosing to wade in. It’s choosing to accept pain if it must to rekindle the light for another. Love strikes the match and builds a fire against the darkness and for all seasons stands watch over the pyre.
Love is sacrifice. Love is sometimes giving in and giving up on your own needs and desires. It’s rolling with what comes and being willing to change your plans when they benefit the other.
Love is gentle. Love isn’t about the new, the when things are good. Love is a gentle and safe harbor when the seas are rough. It should always be a place of rest and peace.
Love is safety. It’s willing to stand guard over those in its protection when they stumble and fall. Love is the place we should run to when the world becomes a scary place.
Love is not about how they act when things are good. It’s not about who they become when things are bad. It’s about being there, doing that and accepting the person and overlooking the actions. After all would you truly want someone to only love the you that you are when things are good?
I didn’t think so. Perfection is found in our imperfections. Because learning to love the imperfections makes everything else in love; easy.
Love is looking in the mirror and seeing our flaws. Then asking yourself why they love you so much? After all you are so flawed. Can’t they see it? Sure they can and they choose to love the perfect imperfections that make you, you. I know I am loved imperfections and all; many as they are.
~Sarah, who loves the perfectly, imperfect Michelle!