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My dearest lover, my soul mate and my heart.

I am not the orator that you are. I try and I try but I will never have your gift. But since your attempt to die. I’ve been struggling with words and with a message. One I know you may not hear until you are better. One you need to hear now.

You tried to kill yourself, I get that I do. You were and perhaps are mad at God. I get that and you cursed Him too. You taunted Him, dared Him to prove He is real and good.

You don’t see but He answered. He proved His complete goodness. Even when you denied Him and cursed Him. Still, He came and saved you.

Doesn’t that prove His goodness and His love for you? Even as you denied Him, He came. Even as you cursed Him, He came. Even when you offered yourself to Satan, He protected you from Satan. He knows you, He loves you and He proved it once again.

He rushed to His daughter even as she cursed His very name. He came when you doubted. He came in your time of need. He doesn’t want you to suffer, He doesn’t want you to bleed. If that isn’t love my sweet then nothing I have could come close. I am not the orator you are, not the word smith either. But I know God’s love for you.

I know it because I know His love for me. Because He came even through your curses and doubts. I know His perfect love.

I call it cursing and coming.

The night that you lay bleeding,
the night you called His name.

The night that you lay needing,
that night your savior came.

The night that you tried,
the night you died,
the night you called His name.

The night you lay bleeding,
the night of your current shame.

The night you lay there needing,
the night your savior came.

The night you died,
the night you lied,
when at last you cursed His name.

You denied the God,
you cursed in vain.

It all seems odd,
now cry like rain.

Because He came,
despite curse and name,
Because you called His name.

Never forget His perfect love for you,
He’ll never forget my love too.

His love and mine are always true.
My love, my wish, His love you knew.

Because you called His name,
His hand guided me as His will.
Became you called He came.

Don’t doubt that lover. You called and He came. He answered you. He said it is not you time. He is almighty, all knowing, perfect and loving God. He came when you cursed Him and that is His perfect love. He came when you doubted and when you were most dark my hand, His will saved you.

I know this is a fact. I’ve lived it my whole life. You can’t scare Him away, you can’t curse Him away, and you can’t make Him stop loving you. You can try but I won’t leave you either. My love is as you would say a pale shadow of His. But you never doubt my love so why would you doubt His love?

You need to hear this lover. Because it’s true. He loves you as much today as the day He put you in your mothers womb. His love is perfect and we may not deserve it, remember it, know it, or accept it. But He loves us and there is nothing you or any can do to lose it.

He has proven His love for you over and over. Open your heart to it and accept it. He won’t stop trying to make you see. I know His love for you because I know His love for me.

Do you know why Satan can’t come and save you? Because God already claimed you and Satan has no power or claim to your soul.

God doesn’t make you suffer. Man caused that and your own stubbornness aided it. You are suffering because you can’t trust. Here is my challenge. Do you trust in my love? I know you do because you can see it. Trust then in His love because I have now shown it to you.

Trust God loves for you and it will heal you. He used me to save you and He is using a lot of people right now to save you. You asked and He answered. You said God take this from me. He answered! He gave you all these people to do just that. From my hands, to those who lovingly stitched you up, to those who try to heal you now.

His hands, His love, His will. All you need to do is believe and trust just enough to see what’s right in front of you. I’m here do you trust me? That is His question. He came, He saw, and He stayed.

So I will repeat the words I’ve sang to you many times. It’s our song but God has been singing it to you longer than I have.

” Honestly, I believe in you
Do you trust in me
Patiently, I will stand, I will stand
I will stand by you
I will stand beside you faithfully

And through the years
I will be a friend
For always and forever

Call on me and I’ll be there for you
I’m a friend who always will be true
And I love you can’t you see
That I can say I love you honestly”
-Stryper, Honestly

Those words are true of me and of God. You called and surprise; He came. Hasn’t He proven once again those words are true? He stayed true even as you cursed Him. He came even when you doubted Him. He doesn’t have to and shouldn’t need to prove His love. But time and time again He does.

He is saying I love you honestly. Can you see His love now? For so long He has asked Do you trust in me? He promised I will stand beside you faithfully. Can you see His love now? Even when you lost your faith in Him, His faith in you wouldn’t be stopped.

And through the years I will be a friend for always. Every time you’ve called, every time you’ve needed your friend came. How is that not true love? Perfect love?

Call on me and I’ll be there for you. He has sent His blessings, His perfect love time and time again. He is the friend who always remained true. While it’s true He acts through others He comes when you call. Whenever you call.

And I love you can’t you see, that I can say I love you, Honestly. He is the only one who can love honestly. I try, God Himself knows I try. I fail because my love isn’t perfect. It’s real, but it’s human love. His love is honest love, perfect love, flawless love.

He has never failed you. He remains prefect in protecting you, even from yourself. I pray always to be able to love you as He does. But my humanness will never allow me to show you a perfect, honest love. I will never stop trying to show you the honest and perfect love I want to give you. But I will fall short forever when He is the yardstick used to measure perfect and honest love.

All He has done for you even just recently? No? Then let me recap.

He heard you when you prayed.
He woke me to help you.
The knife miraculously struck your rib missing your heart.
The odds of that happening weren’t high, and yet here you stand.
The best doctor to treat you was on staff that night.
The hospital was so close.
The roads weren’t busy.
The doctors who now treat you are the best team you could hope for.
Everything is in place to give you what you asked for.

You asked Him to set your free of this. Now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to trust and to let Him guide your healing. It will finally be everything you need and why? Because you asked and He answered.

Do you trust in me? He is waiting for your answer. I love you Michelle more than I love myself. I’m begging because I don’t know how else to make you see these people are the answer you asked for. No! It’s the answer you prayed for. He is working openly and still you doubt Him? Do you also doubt me?

All my love forever, all my heart always, all of me is all I have to give.
Sarah