This was her entry from last night. I may post it as an entry. You will find her journal below. I felt the need to reply so below the quotes you’ll see my reply. I’m not as gifted as Michelle with words. I really had to work to find the right ones. I’m pretty pleased with them over all but still not as beautiful and masterful as my Michelle. Now for Michelle’s words.
“As I like to say I’m going bat shit crazy. One of my favorite authors Edgar Allen Poe once wrote“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. The line shifts the closer we get to it. Always to ourselves we see the line of insanity just over there. Someplace along the way I seem to have crossed it.
Out for a stroll and Caesar crossed the line. Now before me only more of the same and behind me the line not present. How does one know the line? Am I genius or fool? Have I always stood so branded? Perhaps upon a day I shall know for sure. For now I stand both and neither.
I know I now face a battle for self. One I’ve thought before I face but was unable to reach the precipice. Many times I thought I’d faced the praetor of the opposing army and slew him. I know now I never slew him at all. I only slew his right hand. I never manage to stand before the head of my enemy.
He could rise from ash because he was never felled. I’ve pressed deep into his army and mistaken his word for the man. For now I lick my wounds safe in the forest of insanity and far from beloved Rome. I shall pass through her gates again and meet by adoring crowds.
Before that I shall find my quarry and when my strength is great I shall fell the man himself. The legend who haunts me and I shall watch as life leaves his eyes.
I will take crazy over the alternative of stupid. For now never a look even glanced my way. The crazy gather and I among them secreted and gaining new weapons crafted for sole purpose of final victory. A new armor, new weapons and Caesar shall rise from ash. What surprise shall my adversary see when his quarry bears fang and claw once more?
I gather strength for one more assault. New strategy as it’s clear his men protect him and will gladly die in his stead. I shall secret among those who stand his shield and when he is found may my strike be true. Surprise I yet live and the heavens will part in my eyes as his grow cold forever more.
I think I shouldn’t be left alone with my mind for long. It’s yet determined if I am mad though I am not free. A shadow of what was and the seed for what will be. That is what stands where Caesar lay bleeding.
* My reply to Caesar (Sarah) *
You find yourself in unfamiliar woods? They are the central park within Rome. I say to you that you’ve spent so much time fighting you failed to see your own city and the beauty it holds. When Caesar fell her captains rush and pulled her from battle. We sheltered her within city walls protected so she may heal.
Her captains enlisted the best medicos staff we could find and aid from around the world has poured into Rome. With the aid we’ve restored the light and driven the enemy back. None of your captains believe the enemy has been dealt a fatal blow. But we captains know many things.
1) He was forced to retreat in shame. His all out assault upon Caesar failed because he underestimated the power of your captains. He was ready for Caesar and Caesar took the bait. Caesar choose to stroll into this battle without her captains and by the time we were awaken from slumber Caesar lay upon the earth bleeding.
2) We your captains stand united and salvaged the battle and Rome stands. Shaken, perhaps broken in places but the renovation has begun in earnest. We know because we are aiding and overseeing the walls restored, it’s streets lite with lanterns and vital utilities restored.
3) We see the crowds who come and we turn them away. They wish to see Caesar but settle for word she clings to life. They are satisfied knowing the city remains protected by her beloved Caesar.
4) We know the support that has flooded the city. It’s gardens grow even outside the walls and the scared earth that was littered with bodies has been cleared and bloom with life once more. We have seen the aid from all corners of the republic. The armies that now stand watch at the edge of the forest so Caesar may rest and heal.
5) We are ready for the coming tide and when you’re healthy and ready for it your captains none of whom abandoned their sworn post stand with greater commitment than ever to see this trough. To see Rome in a glorious and lasting peace. To see Caesar the war time general adjust to her new role as peace time president.
6) The numbers who have come to bid Caesar well swell beyond imagination. Some sent arms, and armies. Other sent supplies or aided in Romes clean up. And others just brought light, love and well wishes. But no matter they came when they heard.
7) The empire did not crumble or change loyalty. It instead has hardened our commitment and brought us to a great purpose. Your captains stand ready. Your armies have swelled beyond your expectations and wildest dreams. The drums and horns outside the city walls are near deafening as they proclaim their arrival and their pledge to stand and fight under your direction when the battle returns.
7A) Did you a captain in Anna’s army run when Anna suffered a set back? NO. Why would you have so little faith in your own captains and assume we would flee after Caesar suffered a set back? It will take more than that to send your captains scattering to the winds.
For now you are safe protected by your captains. You are receiving the healing you need, the rest you deserve. When your strength returns you are not alone. When you emerge from the park to familiar Rome you will see you’ve not been outcast or exiled. You’ve been protected by the very city you fought to protect. Sheltered in it’s bosom and healed by it’s touch.
You are not alone; though your captains can’t enter the park as the medicos now protect you. They shelter you from everything and everyone. Even the captains who wait just outside the gates to the city park. Until your strength returns Rome, your captains, armies from across the empire, new allies and old stand guard and will allow no harm to our beloved Caesar.
The fall of Caesar brought more aid than any could ever expect. The army so vast it defies the stars in heaven.
Your loyal, loving and faithful captain of the guard Sarah..