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 Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

Hmmmm Well ducks bite and I wouldn’t want to be bitten by a horse sized duck. So I guess I’ll take 100 duck sized horses since I could round them up and sell them as pets. Worlds smallest horses here. You can’t ride them but if your kid has been bugging you for a horse this my friends is your answer!

I always like getting paid for any of life’s problems. I believe opportunity is around every corner and this would be an opportunity to make some money.

If it was a female duck I could have a giant omelet after slaying it. But I’d still prefer the horses.

 Do you have any STDs?

Nope. I’m clean thanks. Do you?

 Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

No.

 At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

I’m a lefty so the left one. Also where I like my date cause I like being his/her right hand lady.

 Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Really? Umm ok this question was like wow weird. Yes I would think they do as long as no animal lard was used to make them.

 Why are there no ‘B’ batteries?

Actually there were B size batteries but the need for a mid-sized battery between A and C just wasn’t needed. Manufactures went for compact with A batteries or larger and longer lasting with C and D sizes. The B size faded from existence around WWII.

Bet you didn’t think I knew that did you? HA! I did.

 If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?

Because we didn’t evolve from monkeys our creator made us as we are and monkeys as they are.

 When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

When you decide to be an optimist and not a pessimist the sky will be partly sunny rather than partly cloudy.

 If a baby’s leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn’t come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

Well (1) that would be a breach birth. The leg never comes out first or isn’t supposed to. (2) only when the entire baby is born is the time recorded. Though after the head comes out it’s only minutes before the rest is out.

 Why do they call the little candy bars “fun sizes”. Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a big one?

You hit it on the head. The fun size should be the larger sizes because it’s more fun to eat more. Those little bars should be called pre-chewed because they aren’t a mouthful. Useless are what hose small bars are because you have to eat the whole bag of them just to feel the fun! We all know bigger is better and better is more fun!

 Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

No It is considered dangerous and a public safety issue. The will site you for public endangerment.

 Can animals commit suicide?

I would imagine they could. I mean whales beach themselves and die. The intentional beaching causes the death wouldn’t that be suicide?

 Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

No. The reason it’s rude for non-deaf people is because they have to open their mouths to speak thus showing you their chewed up food. Often this results in food exiting the mouth as a spray which is both rude and gross. Deaf people don’t have to open their mouths to speak so no it’s not rude.

 What was Captain Hook’s name before he got the hook?

Yes I live near Disney and I love Disney but really? Ok let’s see what was captian hooks name? I know his first name was James (shortened to Jas) and the original book claimed “Hook was not his real name”. But I’ve no clue what his real last name was.

 When two men get married to each other, do they both go to the same bachelor party?

Ummm sure?

 Sarah asked this last night. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Good damn question Sarah. Maybe because it’s a road classification and not an actual interstate. The federal government classifies roads and maintains certain types of roads. Maybe that is why? Ok anyone have the real answer?

 If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

Because that isn’t fun?

 If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes.

 How do deaf people talk/communicate?

Well I like to stand on my head and blink morse code with my eyes!

Really I guess it varies person to person. Some only sign, some lip read and sign, some lip read and speak, some write it on paper, it varies person to person.

 How do deaf people hear music? Dance?

We don’t “hear” per se. For me I feel the vibration in the floor, in the air (depending how loud the music is and how much base is in it). To dance we use vibration and watching others. Find someone who looks to have good rhythm, seems to be moving consistent with a majority of the people around and follow the lead.

 How do you a deaf person wake up?

See after enough sleep my eyes just pop open, this opens the air ducks and when my head fill with enough hot air it rises off the pillow.

For me I have a strap for my phone and I set the alarm, set for vibrate and strap it on my bicep. When the phone vibrates it wakes me up. I also wrote a piece of software to buzz when the door bell buzzes. I use a wireless signal that alerts my phone by calling in causing it to buzz/vibrate. Same works with the home security system. Break a window, set of a motion sensor, open the door, power outage and not disabling the alarm before opening a door ect.. BUZZZ!

~Michelle Styles – June 12, 2014

Tomorrow an answer to a single question I felt it a very good question and one i now have a few perspectives on. It’s a really good question about deafness and one I enjoyed answering because it made me think as well. Look for it tomorrow 🙂