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100 Days

Lila pilamayaye Mitakuye Oyasin. Thank you all my relation/friends.

Thursday February 13, 2014 was my 100 days free of lessons etched in flesh. To me it was just another number, another day. Like today 104 days and tomorrow is 15 weeks or 105 days 0r 2,520 hours. Just a number to me, another day longer than before.

I wasn’t impressed to say the least and celebrate? Everyone thought it was such a huge deal 100 days. What is there to celebrate it wasn’t one year or some tangible number. So what is so great about 100 days? There is an answer.

Sarah explained it takes 100 days to get past the hardest withdrawals or cravings. Once past 100 days it’s not all roses but the hardest leg of your recovery as an addict is behind you. The strongest cravings, the habits, the things that make addiction so addicting.

Still to me all the support I’ve had, the encouragement and prayers from everyone has made these 100 days fly by. Prayers came from so many places and so many people. Kind words in emails, texts, comments and in words.

Everything from just talking to people, to a cake at the women’s shelter where I volunteer and help, to my close friends and family. So many I’ve helped returned the favor in these past 100 days. From every shadow, under every rock, in every cloud and from every corner of my world people cheered, prayed and celebrated with and for me.

But still it’s just 100 days. I wanted to pass it without hoopla and glitter. I wanted to just see it pass in the shadows into just another day.

My lovers TJ and Sarah totally thought otherwise, they proclaimed the day a national holiday. Complete with a wonderful meal, awesome hotel, excellent company and a romantic moonlight stroll on Miami’s south beach. They’d been planning this for a while.

The day started with my car in the shop for an “oil change” and while this was a little weird it had happened before. So I took the bus to work. Flowers awaited me at work and they read simply “Opawige He Apetu’ki” or 100 days. Nothing more, nothing less.


I thought well flowers are nice. Pretty carnations my favorite (yeah I know the cheapest flower around but I love the smell and so pretty). All colors pinks, reds, white and yellows. They arrived last night and I found out the office staff waited for them for Sarah. She had them arrive after 4pm and before 6pm to ensure I’d be away when they arrived.

In my lunch was a note it read “Miye Wakta un Wiconi hemaca itan niye! Tehila it’a TJ”. It is Lakota for “My hope for life I am proud of you! Love very much TJ”. It contained my favorite two peanut butter and marshmellow fluff sandwiches, bananas, chocolate pudding, apple sauce and milk.

I thought that’s a nice way to start lunch with a wonderful note from such a man as mine. You can’t top PB and fluff I always say though next time chocolate milk. (just kidding guys love you both).

At 1pm Sarah arrived for a ‘date’. A surprise date I knew nothing about. She packed my clothes, and necessities (tooth brush, brush, shampoo, ect..). But she hide those in the trunk. We proceeded to this beautiful restaurant called Pied a Terre attached to the Cadet Hotel. Where it turns out she had reservations at both.

We parked and went in all ready I was on to her and TJ because I know he helped plan the whole thing. I knew he couldn’t be there but he was there in my mind and heart.

This room was amazing and the meal was both delicious and new. I’d never before had Escargot, turns out they’re snails. Slimy yet satisfying! I wasn’t crazy about Foie Gras but I did sample it. I liked the vegetable tart and loved the blue crab soup. The soup is a MUST have of you ever eat here! The main course was Dorade, artichoke barigoule a wonderful fish plate that smelled as awesome as it tasted.

Having Dinner here

After super was some time on the beach and then bath time in our room. Bath soaps and a large tub built for two made for quality comfort in the arms of Sarah. Laying my back against her chest, her arms wrapped around me she pointed to the ceiling. Another note pinned to the ceiling. “Miye Wakta un Wiconi hemaca itan niye! Tehila it’a TJ”. He left me notes everywhere!



After our evening soaking and enjoying good company we took a walk on south beach. One of the world’s greatest beaches. Strolling in the evening air with my implants on and I could hear the ocean and the song of the gulls. Sarah giggling and in my mind TJ laughing as well. I felt his large hand holding my left and Sarah holding my right. A night I shared with them.

She stopped me at this very pretty spot and in the moonlight brushed my hair from my eyes and told me how proud her and TJ were. How they loved me and shared in both my pains and my triumphs and how she knew he’d want to do this as much as she wanted to. Then she kissed me full on with a passion I hadn’t remembered in some time.

When she finished the kiss she said and one more for me. And I got the second best kiss of the night right behind the one she delivered for TJ. A close second and both made me weak in the knees, raised goose bumps on every inch of my flesh and tremble inside.

After our three hour walk it was back to the hotel for a few drinks at the bar (a bottle and a half of wine) and then back to our room for some quite time together.



They wouldn’t see 100 days pass without letting me know this as huge and I was and I am loved. So many friends and family also made a big deal of it. I certainly felt the love and support.

Lila pilamayaye niye lila waste ota’kola! Lel lila opawige num. Thank you very much you are the best of friends! Here’s too two hundred!

~Michelle Styles – February 17, 2014