Those who know me know I speak of the trials in life as wars within us. When the trying times hit the general (ourselves) begins formulating battle plans. We often forget our most valuable assets. Our legion ready and willing, swords in hand ready to charge at our command. We seem to feel we must stand alone and at times I have and didn’t need to.
I’ve been the gladiator far too many times. Standing alone against the tide in life and death struggles. As the legions of darkness came I stood alone because I thought I was alone. Little did I know my legions sat ready and waiting on my call to enter the fray. I only needed by a whisper and they’d have poured over the darkness in an unending tide devouring it.
I wrote to my friend Anna and gave her the same message I give the girls at the crisis center. You are not alone! We often forget that asset that is our own legion and in doing so the task of victory over our troubles seems hopeless and endless. The more darkness you kill the more comes. It’s not until we tip the scales to favor that the battle turns.
I spent to many years struggling what I thought was alone. I was never alone. My legion camped waiting for my signal and on the day I fell wounded as my sword hit the dirt and prepared to surrender….. something amazing happened. My captain Sarah and then my father, my mother, my family, then TJ and then pastor Dan and Secret. My captains stepped up and one by one flanked my wounded soul and declared no more shall pass!
They created a safe circle for me. One where my bleeding mind and spirit could know the medicine it needed. They protected me while I licked my wounds and healed in safety and love.
My battle turned as captains joined my fight. I was a fool to make them wait until I’d fallen, unable to stand and lead. But I also learned a valued lesson that my captains weren’t afraid to take the fight in their own hands. But they waited for my signal and only when they knew it wouldn’t come did they enter the fray to save me.
Everyone has a legion to help even if they don’t know it. Even if your parents, brothers, sisters, friends all have passed on or are far off. You aren’t alone. Even if you have no church or religious family. You are not alone. You have a legion to help you.
Michelle you’re crazy I’m all alone my family and friends are gone! How do you answer that?
God alone is more than enough army though we don’t see him. But I would I challenge that too. Can we see God? Yes. We do see him because he is everywhere we look. He is in every breath. He is everything and everywhere. I know we can see him when we look. Sometimes it hurts to look. But you are a part of his grand creation and he lives in you too.
Sometimes we feel unworthy of the love and support. Sometimes we feel we can handle it as the enemy within circles and masses its numbers. We win a few fights and our confidence bolsters and we press on alone ignoring our loyal legion just waiting. We walk boldly into the battle unaware we can’t do it alone.
It’s then we need it most and it’s then you the loving friends, family and church make the difference. You see us every day, you know when we’re broken because you’ve seen us when we’re not. You know the people we are and it’s then, that moment that the good people who love us need to step up and take an active role in the legion of those we love.
We are the general of our legion. When we are hurt and blind and the blood runs in your eyes obscuring proper vision what does the general need? They need a captain to step up and tell us where the safe path is. As my captains did for me.
For me there was no safe path only the ground I yet held of myself and my soul. For me the stand was there on the high ground of my faith. The battle had to hold the lines and with help we did. My tides and fortunes in this war turned but only when my captains took action.
For the record God is among my captains. What the **** Michelle you command God? In a way yes. God helps us most when we ask for it. As a good captain he also sat and watched and waited. Was he there all along? Yes. He snuck into my tent at night and recharged me as much as he could. He whispered to me to let him join. He stood guard many times while I lay wounded and thought for lost. But he didn’t join the fight for earnest until I asked.
For the wounded general you could be that captain. The big questions are.
Do you care enough to know them? To know how they are normally and notice when something’s wrong. To know when they are hurting and just need that safe path. People who read my blog know I harp on this subject of “safety”. The victim and the wounded need safety more than any words. Are you strong enough to be weak enough to be that safety? To let the wounded in and guide hem to safer path.
Are you willing to be that captain? To put yourself into their war. To bleed spiritually and mentally for them.
Are you willing to face their nightmare with them? To stand in the way of their beasts when they lay wounded, to stand at their side as the struggle with the war inside. To carry their crest into battle laying aside your own.
Are you willing to stand in front of them to protect them when they fall? To be the person they find safety in. To be the one they lean on and to be the one to carry them from the battle. The one they know won’t quit on them.
Sometimes winning a war takes just one captain willing to step in and remind them YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Sometimes just that flank is enough and sometimes reinforcements are required. A good friend shouldn’t be afraid to be a good captain in the wars inside their friend.
Sometimes the captain fights but a good captain also knows the proper time to give ground in retreat in favor of higher ground. A good captain knows where the best place to make that stand is and where to draw the line and declare “You shall not pass!” And the loyal captain knows if we go down it will be together and to never give up on their general.
I leave you with my earlier question. Are you willing to be that captain?
~Michelle Styles – February 12, 2014