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My word for 2014 is courage.

Recently I’ve read a few posts from new blogs I’ve stumbled upon. Tori Nelson wrote Timshel a very interesting word and concept about accepting choices we make and allowing others to make choices as well. About how we react to choices we can’t change and our choices in how we deal with them. I’d recommend it as a read for anyone because it’s a great word and well written piece as well.

Jim Grey wrote a piece Watchwords for 2014 and his words were anger, serenity and faith. Another great read about how we have to feel the anger to let it go and move to serenity. In our serenity we seek wisdom and this is done with faith. I loved this piece as well and you should go read it too.

No resolutions for 2014 just an eager anticipation of things to come and the desire to face them head long with my word for 2014. Less a promise to do this or that and more a hopeful mindset for the year a head. A simple reminder of who I want to be in 2014 and what it will take to get there.

My word for 2014 is courage. For many years I’ve coward inside from the demons of my past. Many wouldn’t blame me for cowering but I blame me. So many years wasted afraid and lost. 2013 was a great year for me as I’ve emerged a butterfly and have begun to live. It’s taken courage, faith and more to get here but it will take more courage to push into next year.

This year I seek the courage to live, to really live my life. The courage to pursue my dreams, to travel, to overcome my darkness. The courage to never again make a foolish attempt on my life. The courage to live for today here, now, this moment.

I seek the courage to forgive those who wronged me so many years ago. To allow them to fade from my memory and never haunt me again. To forget them after they are forgiven and to never see their faces in my mind again. To heal my soul still currently shattered.

I seek courage to forgive myself for my past, to realize I am a beautiful person who deserves to be happy. To come to terms with myself, my past and to know I didn’t deserve it, I did nothing to deserve it. To know I am worthy of love and affections and to accept it when given freely by others.

I seek courage to cleanse the darkness within. To make room for the light, to cry when I need to and to laugh as well.

I seek courage to continue to help others who suffer. I know I’ve been there and that experience allows me to relate. I need the courage to know I don’t need to relive my past to help another get over theirs.

I seek courage to live the life I deserve unburdened and unshackled from that which enslaved me so long ago. A life worthy of my name Kuwa Sumanitu Taka (pursuing wolf). To pursue every dream and reach for every impossible thing and to see them realized as possible.

I seek the courage to stop cutting, my addiction. To realize pain is not my champion nor my friend. To move to a place of safety inside where I know it’s ok to be broken. To put down the razor forever and see myself free of pain to be conquered by love.

I seek courage to be free to be me.

~Michelle Styles – January 2, 2014