My words brought to life by my voice. My silence now broken and forever just a memory.
Some time back I wrote a song. I questioned what one voice means. I finally broke my silence and shared my voice. The sea of silence which seemed endless is now broken. On the night in my life with everyone I knew hoping and praying I sat alone awash in the sea of humility. I sat humbled by those who believed in me even towards impossible dream.
I dreamed an impossible dream. Those who know and love me never once said that’s impossible. See I was born deaf and in the past 18 months have learned so much and come so far. In that short time I’ve learned all the words to my song, learned to play guitar so I understood notes, pitch, and tones.
In the midst of all this I wrote the words what does one voice mean. I started to wonder if my voice means anything at all. I wondered if I was reaching for an impossible goal and weather in the end it mattered at all. I believed the world blind to problems and choose silence as its language. Humans seem to just exist with no goal or purpose. We seem to only care to go from here to there.
Yet all around others cry out and through this we silently ignore the voices in the sea of humanity. One voice drowned out by silence. Some remain silent by choice while others know nothing more than silence. I questioned if mine would make a difference in such a world.
For more than two and a half decades I watched in my silence as voices went unheard. Silence imposed on me by birth seemed imposed on others by choice. I’ve so much to say and so much I see and yet even so silence over rules. Problems in this world before our eyes and we walk blindly past in mute company of others. Hunger, loneliness, addiction and pain are everywhere and yet unseen.
What does one voice mean in this world? What can that voice achieve? If I refuse to be silenced will I be heard? Daunting questions all in a new foreign world to me. This will not stop my desire to bring life and voice I hope will carry upon the ocean of muted people. This will not stop me adding the colors of my voice to previous silent choirs.
But I’ve done the impossible time and time again. Lay waste to any obstacle in my path and overcome whatever the odds. Bringing my voice to life, my song to life and telling the world I am silent no more. It’s been a long road and a fitting Christmas gift to my family. They’ve watched me struggle and dream the impossible.
For this dream I practiced hard day and night. I knew I wanted to do this and as the day arose I discovered just how naked we are when we stand before another and proclaim our personal feelings. I shared my voice but more so I shared my heart, my dreams and my song. Alone and afraid I sat before them, the sea of people who waited for my first word.
I can’t begin to explain how vulnerable I was as I laid my soul before those present. I had to dig deep inside to summon the courage to speak. They were expecting another when I took the stage. To those present I was that little deaf girl who went to school with their son or daughter. They sat bewildered and in disbelief as I sat down with my guitar.
That moment I understood just how deafening silence could be. How immense the challenge to share of yourself. I understood at that moment why many choose to just exist and get from here to there never sharing their voice in that deafening silence. It’s very intimidating to be the first to speak when all eyes are upon you.
Lying naked before those who once knew only my silence. Exposed in my words, my inner thoughts of a world blinded by the day to day. A world where voices seem drowned out by those able but unwilling to listen. Listening, perhaps an art its own lost forever to many and so desperately needed.
The idea of being heard, of making a difference is one we all wish. Yet in our desire we seem to forget this lost art. Perhaps if we listen more we might actually be heard and in the end of the days that is the simplest desire. To be heard and in such acknowledged that we mattered, we made a difference to someone, anyone.
I tried to break the silence with something witty and it went over like a lead balloon. Perhaps they were just in shock, though it also wasn’t that funny looking back. So with a hard swallow I decided to just put it out there. I have been a performer before but this was different.
I thought back to the days on the stage but then I knew what the audience wanted. It was easy to deliver when the expectations are known. In this performance it was all new. The words my first with my new voice in public. I was a butterfly finally emerged but would I be seen as beautiful?
These words, my words brought to life by me. Everything squarely on me to be heard or continue to drown in silence. Show them my heart with my words. Words as personal because they were mine alone. Brought to life before those who had never heard this voice, those whose silence toward me added to my prison of silence in the unwashed sea of life.
The pressure to be heard perhaps for the first time. Truly heard not just seen. Ready or not now was the moment for me to break my silence. Well I did it! You can see the whole song here.
My voice was heard but will they who heard it see what is most importance? Perhaps I stood exposed and my message lost to the ocean. If so I will need to be louder when next I call for change to the status quo of silence. I stood naked to the world transparent and yet stood proud of my voice, my words.
Do we as humans continue in a sea of silence drowning the problems that scream out before our eyes? Or do we choose to hear those who hunger and hurt. It’s our voices that break the silence and free those imprisoned by problems. Addictions, pain, hunger, hate are problems that haunt the human soul and in silence are allowed to prosper and multiply.
Do we allow our silence to rest in the sea of silence or do we stand out in the crowd? We can end the silence and kill that which plagues mankind. One voice, one word, one song, one person at a time. I hope to change hearts and minds with my voice, my words and to break the silence.
That choice is up to each to decide. We each must choose to just exist or to make large an impact. I’ve been silent too long and my new voice as gift to me shall be used to bless those whose voices are lost in the sea of humanity. One voice seeking choirs to change the silence which blinds us and a change to light the world with the melody of hope.
One voice can make a difference in this world. I will use my new voice to champion the cause of the silent who cry out to be heard in the sea of humanity preoccupied with getting from here to there. The sea of humanity unwilling or unable to hear because they take for granted that which I fought so hard to obtain. Perhaps my silence was a blessing as now I hear the cries around and I hear the problems right in front of my eyes.
Perhaps I’ve always heard because I had to listen with my eyes all these years. My voice will not be silent and I will listen to hear what’s most important. That is the pledge all should take because the choirs of voices echo in the silence better and a lone voice. Together we change the world one voice at a time so others can see the problems and hear the calls.
I’ve cried out do you hear me? We aren’t lost in this ocean alone and together the S.O.S. can be sounded. Those without voice can join the choirs and together all will see what’s most important. We can make noise, we can make change, and we can bring problems to the eyes of the silent.
There are many in need, many with problems and many to whom your voice matters. Don’t be lost in the language of silence that plagues mankind today. The problems plain before our eyes and the conversation muted only by silence and indifference to them.
Stand, be counted and join to be heard! For one voice can be drowned by thunderous silence but many joined can’t be ignored for long.
~Michelle Styles – December 31, 2013