It’s been a few days since last I wrote. I have few words this day that matter so I shall share all that do.
The beach provided simple yet needed distraction. I find myself weighed, measured and not wanting this morning. I am now home in Florida and missing something’s about Hawaii; yet glad to be home. As I sit by my pool and caress the morning sun I reflect upon recent days of darkened path. For now the urge has calmed and I remain lesson free. I know it shall return though I’ll love the moment while it’s vacant.
I’ve a brief time of self-reflection and a respite from troubled mind. My core remains strong and I no longer hear the urges. Frozen in time this victory hard won shall stand until next we meet. One battle at a time and for now a small string of victories lay at my wake.
So today I bask in the rays of morning sun, known by the moment. Today the breaking of dawn brings hope and joy of the new day, a new present given as gift. I shall unwrap it and cherish the precious gift and dance upon the edges of my mind steeped in victory over pain and blood. For a time, this moment I stand reminded of those who would circle me and protect me when I am weak. I am truly blessed by such fierce and loyal friends and family.
Deep breathes and the essence of the gift inhaled. The air is fresh and pure; free of yesterday and full of wonder. Looking back into twilight the shadows slide to oblivion from whence they came. For now I stand free again. A new challenge awaits as a third time this year I shall face evil. The day approaches and I shall not flinch.
I will look evil again in its face, I shall tell it you’ve no power here and I shall see it locked away where it belongs. A cage its home for as long as I have words I shall keep it there like the animal it truly is. I will be tested; but I will win. Until that test I live one day at a time and one battle at a time. Upon a day it shall feel my sting. A sting as if struck by lash of their own making.
My lesson I take away is one I’ve always known though reinforced this day. Live for today, prepare for tomorrow, brace for the worst, and pray for the best.
Hardened by my battles I know I can handle the war.
Feed by my desire for brighter future I am sated.
Rations well stocked I brace in my core.
Shadows retreat my war is abated.
What more can I say.
I celebrate a gift from above.
Today is a good day.
Today I dance, laugh and love.
Yes for now I stand. My family and friends sent much love and support and a night to reflect found strength in them. Those who believe in me lent strength at a time I needed it. I thank you for that all of you. You reminded me at a time of weakness I’m not alone. I have a pack and a pack protects its own. I found much comfort and joy in knowing you had my back when I felt weak, alone and afraid.
Today it flees from me, from us. I thank you for what support knowing or unknowing was given freely. Your strength aided me and together we won.
From my heart to yours may your present be a gift as mine stands this day.
~Michelle Styles, October 28, 2013