To Sarah who has been my lover, my true love, my closest friend and my greatest strength. You have been everything to me and will always be the only woman I love. Nothing and no one can ever change my feelings for you and no one will ever come between us. Any who enter Our lives will enter it as such OUR lives. I never cared for the thoughts of others save for your thoughts they matter to me deeply. We’ve still things to discuss but I will honor your wishes as well and in the end every decision is ours to make together. I mean it when I say it I love you with every fiber of my being and I would kill or die to keep you from any harm, now and forever.
Cloudless skies greet my eyes, they are weary and heavy. Silent oblivion elusive to me did not grace this night. Nothing sought save rest and dreamless nights don’t disappoint as much as they are expected. Peace falls over me yet sleep hides from the seeker.
None understand what she brings me and never shall it leave my lips save to her. She is the only one to whom I confess. Her love strengthens me; hardening my spirit against the evils inside my head and against the fire that rages often within.
She is ever on my mind and with me no matter how far from home. When troubled she is comfort and when triumphant she is loudest cheer. When sadness comes she is hope and when joy she is cause. When darkness comes she is the light and in the light she is cooling shade.
She is present eternal to me and walks my path. She cools the path I walk with her shade and follows as shadow. Even when not heard or seen her presence is known by me. I cherish the moments shared as gift of person, time and love. I’m not sure she knows how important she truly is to me, my soul and my life.
As I walk through life; there she is. Her steps in time and lock with my own, and her heart beat all I feel. When she is near there are no words to describe my euphoria, nor explanation given. My only hope is she can see my heart and her mind will hear all the words unspoken and unwritten. When she is far I still feel her breath upon my neck, her arms around my waist and her smile upon my core.
But how to tell someone truly and fully what only a heart can say? It’s every beat calls to her, and heeds but to her touch. Every moment is a testament to feelings for which words carry no meaning. Every touch burned as memory so personal only the spirit can save them. Every smile cultivated and returned in kind. Sincere adoration of another and appreciation for all they do for and all mean to you. All things which have no words to do them even slightest justice.
She must know because I’ve spent every day we’ve been together telling her. Even my clumsy words and folly attempts by now must have reached her heart. Even if not my words and attempts shall continue until a day when my words can tell her what my heart truly feels.
To steel my soul I need but close my eyes to see her, inhale deeply to smell her, and whisper her name to hear her whisper mine. How do you tell one so special all you feel for her? Of this I have no answer but I look with favor toward our life together and shall never stop trying to find the right words. Until then I pray my heart is heard with its every beat by she who makes my world brighter with just a smile, a touch, a word or a thought. Her presence makes me a better me.
– Michelle Styles, October 3rd, 2013