Today is good day. Tortured sleep but the sun shines still and the air in my lungs is fresh. Silent walks leave behind the silent screams within and for a moment peace lives. Living moment to moment often serves best a respite from the past. Understanding is mine; with eyes wide shut and moments lost in time. For I know we can be saved a ray of light when darkness seems my only friend.
Bare laid out before the world the pain shallow beneath my flesh yet none see my anguish. Alone is how we face these trials and the world removed from muted pain hushed silently beneath thin flesh. Muffled below such thin layer yet so muffled as shutout from the worlds around.
But today is my gift and though shallow the pain lays in wait; for the moment it is silent. Rest sought within confined space and the reality of self. Within the walls of my mind it’s trapped and though it tries no rest shall it find in quarry.
If it wishes a hunt then I shall hunt it. Two can play it’s game and I no longer flee. Inside I still quiver at the moment of battle but hardened I stand to bitter end. Victory shall not be prize so easily won when prey finds its will. I have found my will so let the hunt begin and with it perhaps peace will follow.
Sun light dances in kind upon my soul and fills vision with it’s radiance. It aids me in battle and the prey sought must flee deeper to survive. Within bathed light I hold higher ground and for the moment an edge in glories and spoils of the war before me.
The pain which lives gives way to tears dried by the sun. Scares remain deep and the channels of their lines unseen by the world only temporarily relieved by the breath of a new moment. The forgotten lay still and for a time take their leave. They shall return upon a day and I shall stand as stone.
In the face of new challenge I shall rise as phoenix from ash in that even in certain defeat shall snatch victory from it. With each passing battle I will make it known how futile the effort. The slave has revolved and with it a new day born. One it shall see soon enough is my boot upon its neck and it shall finally know fear. With this I Laugh knowing its time of fear approaches.
Our last battle was terror I hadn’t known in a time. Victory as I stared its mortal form and put it on notice. It added strength to battered mind, hope to broken spirit and peace to troubled soul. The pause has brought hardened warrior to task and final conflict approaches. I wait for a time when it brings teeth and claw to bare and the wolf returns in earnest. Let it stand as only warning; wolves never hunt alone and once scared pup now has pack and courage. When next we meet it will know why I am alpha. For now I allow it pause to nurse itself from surprise encounter where slave child became warrior. In this time strength is gathered by wolves as well.
The afterglow lingers even as sun sets upon a time and all that remains is to wait. Wait for the moment they attack and glorious inevitable end finally realized. Destiny drawn to future and uncertain path. The only certainty is; we shall meet again.
The enemy I face is alive within and clawing to get out. Clawing at dark walls seen unconsciously by only one. Unseen by any, known by one it has no name within my torment nor upon my tongue. My shades howling like the wind in vacant screams of silence deep within moving silently external to any outside ear shot.
This is who I shall face, his legions against mine but at the end of it we two shall settle old score. Upon the crest of my soul and for it’s eternal rest. Fate yet unwritten that draws to course. It will rue the day this conflict was begun and I shall stand atop the mountain it’s body on the top of the heap. I shall stand alone and victorious with arms raised to the heavens. My pack shall howl for alpha, for blood, for the hunt, for battle, for me and for victory well earned and long time overdue.
Upon the day we shall celebrate and engorge ourselves with flesh of the enemy. We shall dine on the meat of childhood fears and drink the blood of nightmares. We shall dance and sing and the heavens of my mind finally free of clouded vision. Then shall they pass forever to memory forgotten but to the pages of history.
I breath and it flees, I laugh and it suffers, I love and it dies a little.