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I think I’ll stick around and see what tomorrow holds. Even if the darkness returns I stand and for a time it may hold higher ground. The battle is not won in a day but through continued little victory. Never surrender, never retreat. Life is worth the struggle.

Then and Now

Shallow laid pain festering forth and beneath the surface lay more. Deeper, darker and ever forward yet pain persists its only true form invisible to touch and devoid of character. Deeper is more and more still and tough I press on at what end does it seek? At what end am I to push? Darker to vision obscured even more lay in wait ambush at hand and even this knowledge the press forward is in order. No comfort derived from knowledge and no comfort found in the press forward. Forward, ever forward I press into it hoping to find end and rest. It seems my only rest shall come with eternal release.

I have prayed for this day on many a night only to have it ignored. My prayers not well received and my only comfort another moment, another breath and the eternal present. Why call it a present? Why not a curse? Seems only to long for some and too short for others. For me it’s just more.

Starring into the mirror what looks back at me?
Surely this is not me its hideous.
Scares lined like cracks in the mirror.
What plans has it for me?

How can this thing exist within?
Its torment exquisite and insidious.
Scares upon it ugly and unloved.
If this is me how can it be?

What face is this looking back at me?
Why does it cry?
Why is it struggling to live when the world wants it dead?
Shattered upon the past unable to move it yet breathes.

This is not me I see.
Why does it lie?
It disgusts me yet through its eyes I see.
Through its eyes the future perceived.

^^That was then.

Winds of change sometimes favor us and though the reason for the shift unclear accept what has been blown into your life. It’s amazing what change a day can make and more what a year brings. The winds have been at my back gusting full within my sails with few set backs as late. While things could be better I can’t complain overall. Best enjoy the full sails and calm seas how long could they last? We will never know but enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Cool morning dew, warmed by sun upon flesh. The incredible journey continues and the present is known a gift to me and I’ve enjoyed opening it daily. I’m riding the winds to whatever end.

Starring into the mirror what looks back with a grin?
The smile of an angel watching, so serious .
I see the scares lined in the mirror.
Reminders on a past I see.

How can this thing co-exist within?
Its gaze upon me mysterious.
Scares upon it ugly but loved.
Why could I not see it beauty in me?

What face is this looking back at me?
It’s kind unlike visions of recent past.
Why was it not visible before now?
Strengthened by the past it yet breathes.

is this me I see?
I like this face hidden till last.
Through its eyes I see, I was there long ago.
Through its eyes the future perceived.

^^This is now.I have a dear friend struggling to find calmer shores. Fight the good fight and look to your tomorrow. May it hold more comfort than today. Never give up, never retreat, never surrender. Lean on friends when you are weak and you may find allies in unforeseen locations. The world would not be better without you.